Snooki Gets Real Paid: A Defense

The Issue: Snooki was recently paid $32,000 to speak to students at Rutgers University. The same university offered Nobel Prize winning author Toni Morrison $30,000 to speak to the student body.

First, some background:
Rutgers University
Overview: The largest institution for higher learning... in New Jersey
Student body: around 3,600 students, slightly more females than males, 67 % white
Exclusivity: Princeton Review rates the school a 78 out of 100 in terms of selectivity. Average SAT scores for accepted students hover around 1,500 to 1,800 (middling to above average)

Snooki
Name: Nicole Polizzi
Age:24
Height: 4'9"
Weight: Anywhere from 80 lbs to 130 lbs, depending on the current phase of her life cycle
Claim to fame: She starred on the hit MTV show Jersey Shore beginning in 2009.
Likes: Tanning, Gorilla juice heads, Being a Guidette, Drinking, Dance floor acrobatics, Vinny, Smushing
Dislikes: Covering her cooka, Being arrested, Getting punched by inebriated men, Not smushing
Measure of Success: Published a New York Times best selling book, "A Shore Thing" in January of 2011; Rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange in 2010; Charges $20,000 per red carpet appearance; Got paid $32,000 to speak at Rutgers

Toni Morrison
Name: Chloe Anthony Wofford
Age: 80
Claim to Fame: Wrote nine novels and seven non fiction books between the 70s and today. Notable works include "Song of Solomon" and "Beloved".
Likes: Writing, Reading, Equality, Teaching, Jane Austen, Leo Tolstoy
Dislikes: Racism, Illiteracy, Snooki (presumably)
Measure of Success: Oprah made a movie out of "Beloved"; She was awarded a Nobel Prize in Literature, a Pulitzer Prize for fiction, an American Academy of Arts and Letters Award... the list goes on and on


The deal:
College students, particularly white, female college students from New Jersey would rather see Snooki speak than Toni Morrison. Whether this fact makes you cringe or chuckle, it is a fact. And I get it. You know what you are going to get at a Toni Morrison speech: a well-thought-out, intelligent lecture about overcoming obstacles, following your dreams, learning, listening, loving, and being a good person. Sounds nice, but ZZZzzzzZZZ. Sure, the woman won every coveted award available to authors. Sure, she wrote a couple books that are considered essential American reading. Sure, she is 80 years old and might not be around that much longer. But Snooki is, well, Snooki.

Snooki has an interesting tale to tell. It is a tale of how a basically talentless, seemingly nice but not particularly intelligent young woman without an overabundance of class can come to command higher appearance fees than a Nobel Prize winner. It's a tale about the American dream on a drug called "21st Century", which is probably quite a bit like "Charlie Sheen". It's a tale about getting drunk and hunting down DTF juice heads in skeezy Jersey Shore clubs.

Nicole Polizzi might not "deserve" to paid more for anything than Toni Morrison, but you cannot blame the girl for accepting. She somehow stumbled into a fantasy world where her time and likeness are the hottest commodities around. It probably won't last long, and she is taking full advantage while she can.

Similarly, you cannot blame the event organizers at Rutgers University. Their job is to spend the money allotted to them booking events that their student body will attend en masse. Snooki is a "shore thing." (*Slaps self in face*). Besides, Snooki had a book on the New York Times bestsellers list more recently than Morrison. And if that isn't a reason to give the girl a break, I don't know what is.